Yesterday I was at church and it was open mic sharing about letting go; things we are working to let go. As I listened there were several of us who spoke about letting go of expectations for family; parents who were working to let go of expectations for the kids, to let them live…and I realized that I kind of need to “let go” of expectations for my parents. So I got up and shared something like this:
My folks are in their early 70’s a time when I would prefer they settled down. But they haven’t. Quite the contrary they recently sold their permanent home and took up residence in an RV, and not just to vacation. Right now they are wandering the pacific northwest, but their ultimate destination is a state park in northern California where they are going to be care-takers. My father will fix up various carpentry around the park, and my mom will give tours and take care of quests camping. Its the middle of nowhere. Not exactly the safest place. Really cool thing to do, I admit, but I cannot help but worry about my folks, and part of me wishes they would just settle down.
I even have trouble finding out where they are at any given moment. When I call my mom and ask, “Where are you?” She answers “In the woods.” “What woods.” “We’re in Oregon. Your father saw a cricket.” I ask, “Yeah, but where are you?” “We’re with the Redwoods John, its so beautiful, they are so big…”
And so forth. Its just so clear we’re in different worlds…and I don’t get to constrain how they are experiencing the world. Its like we’re in such different worlds that its hard to tell each other about where we are.
I think about those first 3 principles:
- The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
- Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
- Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
And I think that if this faith to which I aspire is really a FAITH then I have the responsibility to live to it at every opportunity. I have to challenge myself to live to accept others, even when I don’t completely like what they give me to accept, even when its my folks for whom I would prefer some safety and stability at this time of their lives…that’s not mine to choose, and because I subscribe to a faith that preaches acceptance and respect, its my responsibility to let go and let them be.
Godspeed mom & dad.